301+ Funny Heart Attack Jokes & Puns One Liner For 2025😂❤️

Looking for a way to tickle your funny bone while keeping it light on the heart? You’re in the right place! This collection of Funny Heart Attack Jokes & Puns One Liner is here to make your heart race—with laughter, not fear! Whether you’re a fan of dark humor, clever wordplay, or just love a quick giggle, this list delivers fast and funny lines that are perfect for ice breakers, social media captions, or meme-worthy moments. ❤️‍🔥

These one-liner heart attack jokes are meant to be playful, not serious, and are crafted with comedic timing that won’t leave you gasping—unless it’s from too much laughing. Expect pun-filled lines, cardiac comedy, and LOL-worthy punchlines that make fun of the heart’s dramatic side in the wittiest ways possible.

We’re bringing you humor that’s short, snappy, and shockingly funny—without the need for medical attention. So sit back, relax, and enjoy this list of heart attack puns and one-liners that are sure to bring a smile to your face—and maybe even a snort or two. Let the funny flow, heartbeat by heartbeat! 😆🫀

Are These Puns Perfect For…? 🤔

• Sharing funny posts on Reddit, Instagram, or TikTok
• Making your cardiologist giggle (safely 😅)
• Lightening up a health and wellness blog
• Dropping a laugh at the dinner table
• Creating a humorous vibe in greeting cards or presentations

💡 Did You Know?

Laughter can actually boost heart health! According to the American Heart Association, a good laugh can relieve stress, improve blood vessel function, and increase oxygen intake—talk about a healthy pun-chline! 🫀😂

Top Heart Attack Jokes – Best Picks 😂🫀

• I told my heart a joke—it skipped a beat from laughter! 😄
• My love life is like a heart attack—sudden, shocking, and full of regret. 💔
• I asked my doctor if I could laugh during a heart attack. He said, “Only if it’s punny.” 😅
• I thought I saw my ex… nearly had a love-induced heart attack. 😱
• My playlist gave me heart palpitations. Too much Taylor Swift! 🎶❤️
• “You’re breathtaking!” — said my heart before collapsing. 😂
• The romantic dinner was so intense… I almost dialed 911. 🍷❤️‍🔥
• Love hurts—but heart attacks hurt worse! 💘💀
• My crush texted me back… I flatlined for 5 seconds. 📱💓
• “Trust me, I’m a cardiologist” — sounds like a setup for heartbreak. 💼💔
• I thought the chili was hot… until my heart gave up. 🌶️😵
• I can’t tell if it’s love or just cholesterol. 🤔🧈
• That burger was so good, my arteries called it quits. 🍔🫀
• “This movie is a heart-stopper!” – Netflix reviewer, probably. 🎬❤️
• I joined a cardio class and almost filed for life insurance. 🏃‍♂️💳
• My smartwatch just whispered, “Goodbye.” ⌚💀
• Cupid’s arrow? More like a cardiac arrest. 🏹❤️‍🔥
• My ex said I was heartless—plot twist, I was just avoiding a heart attack. 😎
• I asked Alexa to call 911 after watching the bill come in. 💸😨
• That first sip of coffee? ❤️ Attack in a mug! ☕😆
• I don’t run marathons, I just have heart attacks in slow motion. 🐢❤️
• Love is patient, love is kind… love is also mildly fatal. 💘🫣
• I told my cardiologist these jokes—he needed a defibrillator. ⚡😄
• Every time my crush smiles, my heart needs CPR. 😍🫀
• I flirt like it’s a cardiac event—full of shock and no follow-through. 😬❤️
• My cat jumped on me at night… I thought the end had come. 🐱😱
• The real danger of dating apps? Sudden heart pain from ghosting. 👻💔
• I joined a dating site and got chest pain on Day 1. 💘😮
• Don’t make me laugh too hard—I’ve got a weak ticker! 😅🫀
• “She’s a 10”—until she sends a heart attack meme. 💯💓

Clever Heart Attack Puns – Best Picks 💡❤️‍🔥

• I fell in love so fast, my heart filed a complaint. 💓📄
• That date was a stroke of luck… or a mini heart attack. 😅❤️
• My arteries called in sick—too much emotional labor. 🛏️🫀
• “You make my heart race”—said my cholesterol too. 🏃‍♂️🍟
• I had a change of heart—literally, the transplant went well! 😷🫀
• That song hit me hard—it was a musical myocardial infarction. 🎵⚡
• You stole my heart… and my emergency contact list. 🥲📞
• My heartbeat and WiFi have one thing in common—they both drop unexpectedly. 📉💓
• I work out daily—just chasing heart attacks with salads. 🥗💪
• He said I was his heartbeat… now he’s single and confused. 🤷‍♂️💔
• I’ve got 99 problems—and 98 are cardiology appointments. 😩🏥
• If flirting were fatal, I’d be cardiologically deceased. 😏💘
• My heart’s GPS rerouted after that jalapeño. 🌶️🫀📍
• Romance gave me chest pain—so did my ex’s cooking. 🍝💥
• My dream girl waved—now I’m in cardiac counseling. 🛋️💘
• That rollercoaster was sponsored by adrenaline and regret. 🎢😨
• I had a sweetheart, now I just have a stent. 🍬🧍‍♂️
• “Stay calm,” they said—while I panicked with every heartbeat. 😱💓
• My gym is a cardiology lab with music. 🏋️‍♂️🎶🫀
• Love came knocking… so did the ambulance. 🚑💔
• That joke was so good, it gave my heart a software update. 🔄💓
• The romance novel was so spicy, I pre-ordered a defibrillator. 🔥📚
• I didn’t ghost her—I just flatlined romantically. 👻❤️
• His beard was so sharp, it pierced my aorta. 🧔💘
• I got dumped over text—instant chest discomfort. 📱💢
• If hearts had batteries, mine would need a charger ASAP. 🔋🫀
• Love songs? You mean slow cardiac arrest anthems. 🎶💔
• That espresso hit my chest like a jealous lover. ☕❤️‍🔥
• She touched my hand, and my heart went into a pirouette. 🩰🫀
• If love is blind, my EKG is downright confused. 🫣📉

Funny Heart Attack One-Liner Jokes – Short & Funny Heart Attack Jokes ⚡💓

• My heart skipped a beat—then filed a lawsuit. 🫀⚖️
• Love hit me harder than my cholesterol ever did. 💘🍟
• That burrito was a cardiac event in tortilla form. 🌯💥
• I flirt like I run—straight into a heart attack. 🏃‍♂️💘
• My heart’s motto: “Panic first, ask questions later.” 🫀😱
• I told a joke so bad, my heart walked out. 🧍‍♂️🚪
• “Are you okay?” – My heart, every time I fall in love. 🥲💔
• My crush smiled—defibrillator, please. ⚡😍
• “I’m fine,” I say, as my heart plays the drums. 🥁🫀
• That playlist came with a warning: may cause love-induced failure. 🎶💘
• The gym gave me abs and anxiety. 😅💪
• Romance? More like emergency response training. 🚨❤️
• Cupid should come with a first aid kit. 🏹🧰
• My heart’s running a marathon—without my permission. 🏃‍♂️🫀
• I saw my bill and nearly flatlined. 💳😨
• My heart doesn’t break—it malfunctions. 🫀💔
• She’s a 10, but she’s also my blood pressure spike. 🔟📈
• That coffee was strong enough to start a fire… in my chest. ☕🔥
• I thought I had butterflies, turns out it was palpitations. 🦋💥
• The real reason I avoid love? I like staying alive. 😎🫀
• Is it attraction, or just sodium levels? 🤷‍♂️🧂
• He ghosted me so hard, even my heart went offline. 👻💔
• I need a relationship… with a cardiologist. 🩺❤️‍🩹
• Why date when I can skip the drama and head to the ER? 🚑😂
• My heart plays hide and seek during emotional scenes. 🎬😭
• Love at first sight? More like sudden cardiac confusion. 😵‍💫❤️
• My Fitbit thinks I ran a mile—I just saw my ex. ⌚😨
• I laughed so hard, I saw a white light. 💡🫀
• My heart has trust issues—especially with romance. 💘🙅‍♂️
• The last time I loved, it came with a medical bill. 💸🫀

Heart Attack QnA Quip – Q&A Jokes & Puns about Heart Attack ❓😂❤️

• Q: What do you call love at first sight? A: A pre-heart attack warning. 😍⚠️
• Q: Why don’t heart patients play hide and seek? A: Because good luck hiding when your heartbeat’s that loud! 🫀🔊
• Q: How do you win an argument with your heart? A: You don’t—it’ll beat you every time! 💓🥊
• Q: What’s a heart’s favorite workout? A: Skipping beats. 🏋️‍♂️😄
• Q: Why did the heart refuse to go on a date? A: Too much pressure! 💘💢
• Q: What’s the most romantic emergency? A: A love attack! 🫀🔥
• Q: Why did the cardiologist fail in love? A: He had no pulse with women. 🩺💔
• Q: What do you call a romantic who can’t breathe? A: A hopeless heart-throb. 😅💓
• Q: Why don’t hearts ever play poker? A: Because they wear their beats on their sleeve. 🃏🫀
• Q: What’s a heart’s least favorite genre? A: Heavy metal—it’s stressful! 🎸😬
• Q: Why did the guy faint on Valentine’s Day? A: Too much cardiac content in the air! 💝💨
• Q: Why was the blood pressure jealous of the heartbeat? A: Because it wasn’t getting any love. 💔📉
• Q: What do you call a scary romantic movie? A: A cardiac thriller. 🎬🫀
• Q: What’s a heart’s favorite band? A: Panic! At The Aorta. 🎶😂
• Q: How do you know your heart is dramatic? A: It flutters over text messages. 📱💓
• Q: Why did the heart go to therapy? A: Too many emotional blockages. 🛋️😢
• Q: Why did the guy bring aspirin to his date? A: Just in case she took his breath away. 💊😍
• Q: What do you call heartburn during a breakup? A: Double damage. 💘🔥
• Q: What do romantic horror stories cause? A: Palpitations of panic. 📖💀
• Q: What’s worse than heartbreak? A: A literal heart attack! 😩🫀
• Q: Why was the heart into drama? A: It just loved to skip beats. 🎭💓
• Q: How do you break up with a cardiologist? A: Carefully—he knows your weak spots. 😳🫀
• Q: Why did the guy take CPR classes? A: His love life kept dying. 😂❤️‍🩹
• Q: What’s a heart’s favorite drink? A: Pulse-ade. 🥤💓
• Q: Why do hearts avoid blind dates? A: Too risky—it might be their last beat. 💀💘
• Q: What’s worse than rejection? A: Getting ghosted mid-heart palpitation. 👻💔
• Q: Why did he check his pulse at the wedding? A: He thought he saw his ex. 💍😱
• Q: What do hearts do when they fall in love? A: They file for emotional bankruptcy. 🧾💓
• Q: Why don’t hearts take days off? A: They’re always working overtime in love. 🕒💘
• Q: What’s a cardiologist’s favorite pickup line? A: “You make my heart beat irregular.” 😏🩺❤️

Dad Jokes About Heart Attack: Pun-Filled Quips 👨‍🦰🫀😂

• I told my heart to calm down. It said, “I’m trying, but you keep looking at the fridge!” 🍕💓
• My dad said he doesn’t need cardio—he panics just fine on his own. 🏃‍♂️😅
• I had a heart attack once… turned out it was just gas and a guilty conscience. 💨😬
• I asked my dad if he needed help. He said, “Only if my heart gives up on me.” 😂🫀
• When I proposed to your mom, my heart skipped more beats than my old vinyl player. 💍🎶
• Why did Dad bring garlic to the hospital? “To keep the heart attack vampires away!” 🧄🧛
• My heart told me to diet. My stomach told me, “Dad’s in charge here.” 🍔🫀
• The treadmill gave me a heart attack. Not because I ran—because of the price! 💸🏃‍♂️
• Doctor: “You’ve got high cholesterol.” Dad: “Guess that means I’m full of love.” 😂💘
• Dad logic: “If love is blind, why do I see medical bills?” 🧾❤️
• I skipped the salad and had a heart attack. Dad said, “Well, at least it wasn’t boring.” 🥗❌
• I told my dad I had chest pain. He said, “That’s what you get for skipping leg day.” 🏋️‍♂️😄
• My dad flirted with Mom like a heart patient on caffeine. ☕😳
• Asked my dad if he wanted to run. He said, “From what? A heart attack?” 😂🏃‍♂️
• Dad’s idea of cardio: Walking to the fridge in record time. 🧊🍗
• My heart said “no,” but my dad said, “We’re going for seconds.” 🥘💓
• I told Dad stress causes heart problems. He replied, “Try raising three kids.” 😅👨‍👧‍👦
• Dad said, “If love was a disease, I’d already be in the ER.” 💘🚑
• “She’s stunning,” Dad whispered—and his heart nearly filed for retirement. 👴💘
• Dad asked Siri for heart-healthy meals. She replied, “Try less sarcasm.” 😂📱
• “I’m fine,” Dad said, holding his chest and the TV remote. 📺🫀
• I asked for a healthy snack. Dad handed me an apple… pie. 🍎🥧
• Dad jogged for 30 seconds and claimed “victory over cardiac odds.” 🏆💓
• “That movie gave me heart palpitations,” Dad said about Finding Nemo. 🎬😂
• I saw my dad trying yoga. He said it’s not for the heart—it’s for his future nap. 🧘‍♂️😴
• Dad said he can avoid heart attacks with dad jokes. We’re not sure if that’s a cure or the cause. 🤣❤️‍🩹
• “I’ll never have a heart attack,” said Dad—while eating bacon like it was air. 🥓💨
• Asked Dad if he wanted a heart rate monitor. He said, “I’ve got eyes. I see your mom.” 😍🫀
• “The only cardio I need is dodging your mom’s anger,” Dad said during argument #54. 💃😬
• Dad’s version of CPR? “Comedy, Pizza, and Rest.” 🍕😂🛌

Heart Attack Jokes and Puns for Kids 🧒💓😄

• Why did the heart bring a pencil to school? To draw blood! ✏️🩸
• What did the heart say to the lungs at recess? “You take my breath away!” 😍💨
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Pulse. Pulse who? Pulse me a glass of water, I’m thirsty! 🥤😂
• What’s a heart’s favorite subject? Cardi-ology class! 🏫🫀
• Why was the heart always invited to parties? Because it had great rhythm! 🎶🫶
• What did the banana say to the heart? “I find you a-peeling!” 🍌❤️
• Why did the heart wear glasses? To see what love looked like! 👓💘
• What’s the heart’s favorite shape? A ❤️, of course!
• What did the heart say after running on the playground? “I need a break—I’m beat!” 🏃‍♂️💓
• Why did the heart bring an umbrella? Because love was pouring! ☔💖
• Why did the teddy bear hug the heart? Because it had cuddly feelings! 🧸🫀
• Why did the cookie make the heart happy? Because it was baked with love! 🍪😍
• What does a happy heart do? It skips with joy! 🥳🫀
• What do you call a dancing heart? A beatboxer! 💃🎵
• What’s a heart’s favorite animal? A beat-le! 🐞🎶
• Why didn’t the heart get lost? It always followed its beat! 🧭💓
• Why was the heart in time-out? It skipped class! ⏰📚
• What’s a heart’s favorite game? Operation! 😄🛠️
• Why was the heart so good at soccer? It never stopped kicking! ⚽🫀
• What did the teacher say to the heart? “You’re full of feeling!” 🧑‍🏫💖
• Why did the heart join the band? To play with a-pulse! 🎺💓
• Why did the crayon love the heart? It was full of color and joy! 🖍️❤️
• How do hearts stay in touch? They send text-beats! 📱🎶
• What’s a heart’s favorite drink? Beet juice! 🧃😂
• What did the balloon say to the heart? “Let’s rise together!” 🎈💞
• Why was the heart a great student? Because it always paid a-tension! 🎓🧠
• What song does the heart love? “I’ve Got the Beat!” 🎤🫀
• Why did the heart giggle at the joke? Because it was a real chest-buster! 😆❤️
• Why do hearts love jokes? They laugh from the inside out! 😄💘
• What makes a heart smile? Kindness, hugs, and cupcakes! 🧁🤗

Heart Attack Jokes and Puns for Elders 👵❤️👴

• I don’t jog anymore. My heart said, “We’re on retirement too.” 🏃‍♂️🛑
• My heart has been through a lot—especially since disco ended. 💃💓
• I asked my doctor if laughter was good for the heart. He said, “Only if it’s not followed by cake.” 🍰😂
• Back in my day, the only heart attack we had was love at first sight. 😍👁️
• My pacemaker has better rhythm than I do. 🎵⚙️
• I flirt now by blinking slowly—it’s heart-safe and senior-approved. 😏👀
• I don’t need rollercoasters. A blood pressure check is enough excitement. 🎢💉
• When my heart skips a beat, I call my nurse—not my crush. 🩺📞
• My smartwatch says I’m fine. My knees disagree. ⌚🦵
• I take walks for my heart. Then I nap for the rest of it. 🚶‍♂️🛌
• Back in my day, heartthrobs were actual threats to the heart! 🎤💘
• My heart’s not broken—it’s just on senior hours. 🕓🫀
• I didn’t fall in love—I fell and forgot what I was doing. 🤕💘
• Doctor told me to eat healthy, so I started adding lettuce to my burgers. 🥬🍔
• Every love song now sounds like a cardiologist’s playlist. 🎶🩺
• I wear compression socks—for compression-level hugs to my calves. 🧦😂
• I miss the days when palpitations meant butterflies, not blocked arteries. 🦋🚫
• Love in your 70s: Holding hands… and each other up! 🤝😄
• My heart jumps only when the grandkids ask for money. 💸💓
• I told my wife she makes my heart race—she said, “That’s just the stairs.” 🪜💘
• That first date back in ‘65? Still the reason for my murmur! 💞📻
• I walk slow, but my heart still skips faster than my playlist. 🎵🫀
• Getting old means every loud noise sounds like a heart attack. 🔊😨
• My heart plays jazz now—unpredictable and slightly off beat. 🎷💓
• I asked Alexa for heart tips, she said, “Call your doctor, not me!” 📱😂
• I write love notes now—with large font and proper spacing. 📝👓
• I told my grandkids I was once a heartbreaker… now I break yolks, not hearts. 🍳💘
• My blood pressure only rises when someone touches the thermostat. 🌡️😤
• I get excited when I see the grandkids—then I sit down for an hour. 🛋️🧒
• I don’t chase dreams anymore. I let them walk slowly to me—heart-smart and nap-approved. 😴🫀

Heart Attack Puns and Jokes for Reddit & Social Media 💬📱🫀

• Just saw my crush post a selfie—BRB, heart’s buffering. 😵‍💫📶
• My heart’s not broken, it’s just on low battery mode. 🪫💓
• Plot twist: It wasn’t love. It was just spicy ramen. 🍜💥
• Heart attack level: My ex liked my story. 😳📲
• Me: I’m fine. Also me: Googling “symptoms of mild love-induced cardiac arrest.” 🫠🫀
• Just got ghosted… my heart needs a software update. 👻💻
• My watch: “Are you running?” Me: “No, I just saw their new profile pic.” ⌚🔥
• Flirting online is fun until your heart rate becomes a trending topic. 📈😅
• Heart said “nope” the minute I saw the bill. 💳💓
• When your crush likes your post = Instant arrhythmia. 🫀💬
• That spicy meme hit harder than a triple espresso. ☕😵
• Just broke my diet and possibly my left ventricle. 🍕💘
• Feeling cute, might collapse emotionally later. 🥴❤️
• When Spotify plays “your song,” and your chest tightens in 4K. 🎧😩
• Just proposed to pizza. My heart said yes, my doctor said no. 💍🍕
• Forgot to breathe during that TikTok—heart still recovering. 📱🫁
• That notification made my heart do parkour. 📲🤸‍♂️
• Tried to slide into DMs. Slid into a full-blown heart attack. 📥🔥
• Zoom date? More like cardiac live-stream. 💻🫀
• Just posted a thirst trap. Now waiting for a cardiac crisis. 😎📸
• “You up?” – text message or instant palpitations starter pack? 😬💤
• Those dog filters don’t filter out heartbreak. 🐶💔
• Insta-stalking level: My heartbeat is doing Morse code. 🫀🔍
• Me: Heart, stay calm Heart: We die like poets. 🎭❤️‍🔥
• That Reel was too cute—I need CPR. 📹😍
• Social media tip: Avoid all exes, crushes, and spicy food. 📵💘
• The only thing viral is my pulse after seeing that trend. 📊🫀
• My phone’s on silent, but my heart’s screaming. 🔇😩
• I liked her post. Now my chest hurts. Coincidence? I think not. 🖤💔
• The algorithm knows I’m weak. It just served me a relationship meme. 🤖😭

Knock Knock Heart Attack Jokes 🚪😂❤️

• Knock, knock Who’s there? Beat. Beat who? Beat careful, or you’ll give me a heart attack! 💓😅
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Pulse. Pulse who? Pulse yourself together, you’re scaring my heart! 😱🫀
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Love. Love who? Love me gently—my heart can’t take surprises! 💘🚑
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Attack. Attack who? Attack me with chocolate, not chest pain! 🍫😄
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Skip. Skip who? Skip a beat every time I see you! 🥰💓
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Cardiac. Cardiac who? Cardi-accented love letters are heart-stopping! 💌📬
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Chest. Chest who? Chest kidding! I’m totally fine. 😆🫀
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Doctor. Doctor who? Doctor told me to laugh more—so here I am! 🧑‍⚕️🤣
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Oxygen. Oxygen who? Oxygen the dance floor—my heart needs a break! 🕺💨
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Flutter. Flutter who? Flutter I barely know her! My heart’s going wild! 💘😂
• Knock, knock Who’s there? ER. ER who? ER you serious? That joke nearly killed me! 🚑🤣
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Cupid. Cupid who? Cupid be more gentle next time? My heart’s fragile! 🏹💔
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Beatbox. Beatbox who? Beatbox your way into my heart! 🎶❤️
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Alarm. Alarm who? Alarmed by how fast my heart’s racing! ⏰💓
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Mayo. Mayo who? Mayo heart be still! You startled me. 🫠😄
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Thump. Thump who? Thump day blues got my heart down! 💙🫀
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Panic. Panic who? Panic at the cardio lab! 🎸😆
• Knock, knock Who’s there? ECG. ECG who? ECG what you did there—nice pun! 📈😄
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Rhythm. Rhythm who? Rhythm your heart out—it’s party time! 💃🎉
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Artery. Artery who? Artery you okay? You look stressed! 😬🫀
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Numb. Numb who? Numb of these jokes better give me chest pain! 😂❤️
• Knock, knock Who’s there? BP. BP who? BP on alert—I think I’m in love! 😍💗
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Help. Help who? Help! I’m falling for you… and my heart’s struggling! 🫶😅
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Flat. Flat who? Flat line? Just kidding—it’s only your smile! 😁❤️‍🔥
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Cramp. Cramp who? Cramp my style all you want, just not my heart! 💃😂
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Date. Date who? Date with destiny… or a defibrillator? 📅⚡
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Pressure. Pressure who? Pressure gonna give me a love stroke! 🫣❤️
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Palp. Palp who? Palp your hands—this joke’s a winner! 👏😄
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Nurse. Nurse who? Nurse way I’m falling for you again! 🧑‍⚕️💘
• Knock, knock Who’s there? Cupid’s Arrow. Cupid’s Arrow who? Cupid’s Arrow almost gave me chest pain—aim better next time! 🏹💓

Heart Attack Jokes Dark Humor 🖤😈🫀

⚠️ Disclaimer: These jokes are meant for entertainment and should be taken with a grain of salt (but not too much salt—it’s bad for the heart).

• My heart and my job both gave up on me—but only one needed CPR. 💼💓
• Doctor: “You’re lucky to be alive.” Me: “That’s not how I feel.” 😅🫀
• I downloaded a meditation app. Now I just calmly panic during my heart attacks. 😐📱
• I told my friend I had chest pain. She replied, “Same, but mine’s emotional.” 💔😶
• My heart said, “I’m tired.” I said, “Same here, buddy. Let’s clock out together.” ⏰🫠
• Why do I always laugh when my heart skips? Because it’s the only drama I didn’t cause. 🎭😬
• My love life and my arteries have one thing in common—they’re both completely blocked. 💘🚫
• The worst thing about dying from a heart attack? You still get billed for it. 💸☠️
• I asked Siri for heart tips. She scheduled a funeral playlist. 📱🎶💀
• Just had a heart attack scare… Turned out to be existential dread. 🧠😳
• I don’t fear heartbreak. I fear actual cardiac arrest. 💔🫀
• I joke about heart attacks now. In 10 years, my insurance won’t be. 😅📉
• I don’t run from my problems— my heart doesn’t allow it. 🏃‍♂️❌
• Saw my hospital bill. Suddenly, the heart attack was the cheaper part. 🧾😵
• I flirt like a defibrillator— unexpected and probably dangerous. ⚡💘
• They say love is pain. No one told me it included EKGs. 📉💘
• My ex said, “You’re heartless.” Joke’s on them—I have two stents. 😎🫀
• My emergency contact is Google now. At least it’s fast with symptoms. 🤖💻
• Dating apps gave me chest pain. And not for the usual reasons. 😬📲
• I watched a horror film. My heart said, “Oh cool, training.” 🎥🫀💢
• My last check-up turned into a horror story. Plot twist: I was the villain. 🩺😈
• I used to say I’d die for love. Then I met sodium. 🧂💘
• My Fitbit just whispered, “Goodbye.” 😵⌚
• I asked if laughter was the best medicine. They said, “Not for cardiac arrest.” 🧑‍⚕️😐
• I told my heart to behave. It replied, “Make me.” 😤🫀
• My dating profile says: “Low tolerance, high risk of heart failure.” 💻💔
• I fell in love and got chest tightness. My doctor said, “Congratulations, it’s stress.” 🥲❤️‍🔥
• They said, “Follow your heart.” It led me straight to the ER. 🚑😅
• Love nearly killed me. But fries finished the job. 🍟☠️
• If I go out, let it be laughing at my own heart jokes. 😈😂🫀

What is the nickname for a heart attack?

A heart attack is often nicknamed a “cardiac event” or “MI” (short for myocardial infarction). Some people casually call it a “heart episode.”

What’s another phrase for heart attack?

Another phrase for a heart attack is “cardiac arrest,” though technically they are different a heart attack is a circulation problem, while cardiac arrest is an electrical issue.

What do the 4 P’s stand for in a heart attack?

The 4 P’s stand for Pain, Pallor, Pulse, and Perspiration key signs to watch for during a heart attack.

What is the call line for a heart attack?

In most countries, the emergency number to call for a heart attack is 911 in the US, 999 in the UK, or 112 in Europe.

What are the silent signs of a heart attack?

Silent signs can include jaw pain, shortness of breath, nausea, and fatigue symptoms that don’t always seem heart-related but should never be ignored.

We hope these 301+ Funny Heart Attack Jokes & Puns One-Liners gave your heart something to beat for—laughter, love, and loads of puns! From dad jokes to dark humor, from kids’ laughs to Reddit-ready one-liners, this post brought together humor for every age and every heart.

🫀 Laughter truly is a form of cardio—as long as it doesn’t skip too many beats. 😅 Whether you’re sharing these puns in group chats, roasting your bestie, or adding spice to your next meme, remember: 👉 A joke a day keeps the dull vibes away!

So go ahead—bookmark this post, share it with friends, and keep the pulse of comedy alive. ❤️